Fictional Derivations

Strange tales for a better world.

Kokoro no O-Nōtsu

Posted by Arachne Jericho on Thursday, March 20th, 2008
Part of The Jade Gear/Tales from the Bronze Dynasty


Photography by dalangalma

Flash fiction, fantasy. 1200 words.

O-Gosai’s blood dripped onto the damp pavement when they stopped, briefly, to rest. Blood and rain soaked her kimono, and her breath came out in little pants. O-Sattou knelt down to sponge the bleeding with her tongue, only to have her cheek slapped harshly.

“Not here,” growled O-Gosai. She took a shaking breath. “Look about you, child.”

O-Sattou rubbed her cheek, for O-Gosai had a mean left hook. “There is no-one else around, Mother. And I did not think a town would be here, in the middle of—of his territory. He, he was always most careful.” She wiped new tears away on the back of a wet wrist.

“Stop weeping,” said O-Gosai curtly as she stood up again. She offered a hand to O-Sattou, who still knelt, crying into her sleeve, the very image of mourning romance. O-Gosai snorted, and pulled her up.

“It is so strange,” sobbed O-Sattou as they moved again, turning down a street.

“Did you never wonder why he always skirted this area?” asked O-Gosai. She stopped, and clasped O-Sattou’s shoulder. “He will be avenged.”

O-Sattou looked up, and blinked black eyes incredulously.

“Mother, this is a pet shop.”

O-Gosai sighed, and patted O-Sattou’s hand. “Just try your best to be human,” she said, and pushed open the door, causing a small bell to ring.

Behind the counter, a woman in her twenties sat on a high stool, lost in a magazine. O-Sattou stared around the small shop, which was crowded from floor to ceiling with cages and tanks, carpeted platforms and small beds. She did not see any foxes, but she did see rabbits and mice, birds and cats, even a few dogs lounging in open carriers. Her knees weakened when she saw the last, but while they looked curious, poking their noses in her direction and sniffing, they neither barked nor made any move to attack.

O-Gosai briefly checked the absence of O-Sattou’s tail, then politely said, “Lady O-Nōtsu. I, O-Gosai, bring you… news.”

The woman looked up and smiled. O-Sattou looked deep into O-Nōtsu’s eyes, and could find no inkling of fox soul.

“And how can I help you?” asked Lady O-Nōtsu, guilelessly, it seemed to O-Sattou.

O-Gosai bowed, and O-Sattou followed her example numbly.

“Lady O-Nōtsu, there is a stray that needs to be taken care of,” began O-Gosai.

O-Sattou lost her briefly-regained composure and wailed. “No mere stray killed my husband! It is Denkiinushin, former hound of the Heavens, cast out in thunder but a few days ago by the Jade Emperor. That monster has eaten my husband of four tails, as if he were of no consequence!” She wept into her sleeve again.

“Quiet,” hissed O-Gosai into O-Sattou’s ear, to no great effect. O-Gosai looked apologetically at Lady O-Nōtsu. “Please excuse young Sattou. She is greatly affected by the situation of this poor animal.”

Lady O-Nōtsu stood up, moving as fleetly and elegantly as a fox, and headed into the back room. O-Gosai smoothed O-Sattou’s hair, wondering if the lady was really up to facing a newly created, and thus greatly angered, demon. O-Nōtsu had not been seen in action for a rather long while, as her people counted time; and legends, O-Gosai knew, had a way of wearing themselves out.

After few minutes, Lady O-Nōtsu appeared again, with a nylon gym bag over one shoulder, from which wafted the scent of bacon treats. It was all O-Gosai could do to not embarrass herself then and there, while O-Sattou stared, nearly salivating until O-Gosai slapped her again.

“Show me where he is,” said Lady O-Nōtsu.


Wherever they walked, the town continued, empty streets lined with countless buildings. O-Sattou smelled that they were on the right trail, leading back to the location of the horrible scene that replayed over and over across her eyes and ears and whiskers; but she did not understand why she couldn’t recall it happening in a town area.

O-Gosai seemed confident, and that O-Sattou clung to.

O-Sattou knew when they arrived, because the smell choked her.

In a wide alley, Denkiinushin towered over them even as he sat on his haunches, his hide a pulsating neon blue. Cruel eyes, lit by constant arcs of lightning, seemed to recognize O-Sattou. His blood-flecked jaws, larger than entire shop fronts, opened as the lion dog threw back his head and laughed, thunder breaking across the sky.

O-Sattou fell to her knees, but O-Gosai stood glaring Denkiinushin down, her face as unyielding as a stone fox at Inari’s temple.

Lady O-Nōtsu headed into the alley, removing the sack of bacon-treats from her gym bag.

Denkiinushin grinned, every tooth taller than her by far. “And what have we here?” His voice made O-Sattou’s very teeth ache. “I’ve devoured one kind of beast on this forsaken Earth already. Will it be so easy to crunch the bones of another?”

The Lady shook her head. “Poor dog. Did someone treat you badly?” She shook the yellow bag enticingly.

Denkiinushin roared at the insult, and O-Sattou tried to grip the rough cement beneath her hands. “Do you not know who I am?” his voice boomed again, shaking the very streets.

The Lady made quick sucking sounds. “Come here, boy. Don’t be so frightened. Poor little beagle. Who would hurt such a good boy?”

Denkiinushin’s mighty paw scythed through the air, the wind of its passage whipping the hair of O-Gosai out of its bindings, so that it flowed wildly behind her.

And then her hair fell back to her waist.

O-Sattou looked up from behind trembling hands. For a brief moment, she saw an enormous fox with a halo of nine tails, and then the vision was gone.

The alley was entirely absent of gigantic blue lion dog. Instead, a small brown and white beagle, looking surprised and uncertain, was being collared by a kindly Lady O-Nōtsu. It sniffed some treats in her hand. O-Sattou stared at the tableau, her mind hazing over, and she wondered why her heart had been shattered at the death of a mere fox.

Then O-Gosai grabbed O-Sattou’s hand and dragged her away, running hard in spite of a wounded leg. They did not stop running until they were well into the woods, and the town gone from view.

At long last they collapsed against a fallen tree trunk. O-Gosai pushed O-Sattou’s face towards her with a paw, and looked deep into the widow’s eyes.

Presently, O-Sattou’s eyes returned to liquid black, and tears for a dead husband filled them once more. O-Gosai sighed in relief, and tried to lick the blood-matted fur of her leg.

“Let me do that,” said O-Sattou. O-Gosai let O-Sattou’s tongue massage and wash the wound, wincing slightly at the pain.

After a while, O-Sattou said, “What was that, Mother?”

“That was O-Kokonotsu, she of nine tails. Her insanity is useful at times, but the power of her belief is overwhelming.” O-Gosai gave O-Sattou a meaningful look. “If I had not fled with you in hand, you would have soon believed yourself but human.”

“Oh,” said O-Sattou. She shuddered. “That is terrible magic.”

“Indeed it is, child,” said O-Gosai, closing her eyes. “Indeed it is.”

Why Oh Why?

Written for the March 2008 AbsoluteWrite blog chain. I don’t have a pet. :)

About the Head Hopping

I’m quite aware this story has an omniscient POV for a large part of it. My hope is that it worked and didn’t mess around with your head too much…. If it still did, my apologies. Sometimes the writing just don’t work.

Mythological Background

The characters are kitsune, a kind of fox spirit. They are usually considered shape-shifters; if you see humans with bushy fox-tails sticking out, you’ve just found some careless kitsune.

The other important thing about kitsune is that they’re not only tricksters, but masters at illusions. There are tales of men who have been lulled into believing that they’re living a life of luxury with a gorgeous wife, enormous house, and dining on incredible foods—but they’re really living with a fox wife in a tiny den, eating spiders and mice.

Kitsune live for years and years; the older they are, the more tails they grow, and the more powerful they are. O-Sattou’s husband was fairly formidable at four tails, though he was no match for a demi-god. O-Nōtsu has nine tails, which is extremely old and powerful.

Inari is the god of rice, and his emissaries are foxes. There are many Inari temples in Japan, rice being rather important as a crop, and all of them are festooned with fox statues of all sizes.

Meanings of Names and Things

Which I probably got wrong anyways, but:

Kokoro - Can either mean “heart” or “spirit”, and either interpretation can relevant to this story, each with a subtly different meaning. The Japanese are big on puns and word play, precisely because the language contains so many homonyms.

[word] no [other word] - Means [word] of [other word]. So Kokoro no O-Nōtsu can either mean “The Heart of O-Nōtsu” or “The Spirit of O-Nōtsu”.

Kokonotsu - Means the number nine.

Gosai - Can mean “second wife”.

Sattou - Can mean “flood”.

Denkiinushin - A smushing-together of words. Denki is electricity, inu is dog, and shin just sounded right.

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Part of The Jade Gear/Tales from the Bronze Dynasty

3 Responses to “Kokoro no O-Nōtsu”

  1. Jena Isleon 01 May 2008 at 1:35 am 1

    Arache Jericho, I took note of your comment on my story and had written a “remake”. Would you be kind enough to visit my site an comment on the new version? Comments from a better writer like yourself, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

  2. Arachne Jerichoon 01 May 2008 at 7:15 am 2

    Hello Jena!

    First of all, I’m not a good fiction writer yet; not good enough to be published, and certainly not qualified for the term “good”. At best I can entertain folks temporarily, but until I actually a) get published in a mag that’s selective about what comes in, and b) I’m not being published as “filler”, I might be able to say “I write decently.” We’re talking places like Clarkesworld, Farrago’s Wainscot, Wheelhouse, etc.

    The bar is a little high, as they say.

    Second, I think you can learn more if you visit the AbsoluteWrite Forums. Take a look around, read a bunch of threads, learn stuff. There’s a forum called “Share Your Work” there that you can, well, share your work and get critiques from all sorts of folks—many of whom are better than me. Although you should really read around the board for several days before you post something to be critiqued.

    These days I only critique on the SFF Online Writing Workshop and for people who, like, actually want my opinion—which is frankly not that many people. You probably don’t really want my opinions either. ;) It’d be far better to hit AbsoluteWrite.

    While you’re at AW by the way, visit the Learn Writing with Uncle Jim thread.

    If you still want to listen to my pointless blathering—if there’s something I do well, it’s synthesizing stuff I’ve learned from books, analysis, and a little from my meager experience—here’s a few links:

    These should be enough to get you started. They are all worth way more than a critique from me. :)

  3. Jena Isleon 01 May 2008 at 2:27 pm 3

    Thanks, for the information….and for the sites that you gave…I appreciate it a lot.
    Happy blogging.

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